The Hostess with the...Adequate Amount of Skills
Yes, it is true! I, this weekend, will be a hostess to an actual big event. I've shied away from being a real hostess my entire life, afraid of being represented as those women from the 1960's advertisements with pearls and a vacuum. I try to avoid all versions domesticity if possible, but I find that inside, I get the slightest bit of pleasure out of having people over and showing them a good time! So, I offered my lackluster hostessing services for a Thanksgiving dinner at my house. It was perfect because my roommate is away, and our house is pretty big compared to the rest of Taiwan. I mean, we have a living room and a balcony, and a separate room for a kitchen! Just imagine the possibilities. So, I will be scrounging together whatever I've got in the way of furniture: folding chairs, crusty tables and shelves, and dusting off the cat hair and will create an elongated Thanksgiving table of dreams. Now, for us traveling folk, that just means the table will be long enough to fit everyone. I will need to use paper plates and paper napkins. Sigh. The days of my mother's decorative plates, napkin holders, and goblets are passed (at least this year).
But, I have created a Google Doc, so that everyone invited can sign up for a dish to bring! We've got the works: mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, salad, rolls, etc. But, alas, turkey is not to be found here. So, Costco rotissierie chickens it shall be! And, I will be rolling up my sleeves in the kitchen to create a delicious sangria as well as baked corn, and hopefully gluten free rolls! I'm sure they'll be too doughy and bland and only I will eat them, but that's the point, isn't it?
On the guest list there will be people from all over: The U.S. Canada, Scotland, South Africa, and Taiwan. It'll be quite the international affair. A bunch of people who hardly know each other eating a bunch of food together is bound to be a good time, right? That's why alcohol was invented. For just such a time as this. Wish me luck on my hostessing adventure. I don't have the time or money to get things really decorated, but if I had my own house one day, I like to think that maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to dig deep and pull out Becky's holiday decoration skills.
Now, there are one or two issues. My roommate has two cats, and I'm on cat duty while she's away. Strangely enough, her living room isn't arranged in a very human kind of way. The couches are all ripped up from claws, and spare cardboard boxes are placed around in a haphazard kind of way. That's all very well and good, but it hasn't been properly cleaned in a long while. So, when James and I started moving the furniture around to create a more user-friendly feel, things started emerging that were best left untouched. And by things I mean cat hair balls. So much cat hair. But! It has been cleaned, and I'm hoping to convince my roommate to let me keep it arranged this way because then I'll want to be in the living room! I like cats. I really do. But these two make me feel a bit tense. Our relationship is improving, but it's because of their meows. There, I said it. I judge them on the sound of their meows. That's something that should be considered when making a cat purchase or a cat pickup. Their meows aren't soft and gentle. They're guttural and loud and scratchy. Why oh why? I say to them. Must you meow in this intense manner? It's a constant question I ask that never seems to get answered. Even just this morning I was awoken by horrible sounds of raucous meowing, spitting, and growling and got up to see them just sitting there on each side of the hardware box making the sounds. I was like, "Guys, really? Can you not find a better time to do this?" So, I fear for my Thanksgiving guests. Maybe they'll be put off by the weird cats! And, in addition, one of the cats needs to take a pill....Luckily though, it goes in the less disgusting hole. But, that's the more dangerous one! I have to hold the cat, while James uses a pill inserter (yes, that's a real thing) to stick it in it's mouth. It's gotten so scary that I need to wear my raincoat and a glove on my left hand. Somehow he gets his claw into the soft space between my pinky and ring finger. Great. So looks like I'll be a scarface, cat hair covered, crusty furniture maneuverer, hostess.
So there you have it, folks. Happy Thanksgiving!
But, I have created a Google Doc, so that everyone invited can sign up for a dish to bring! We've got the works: mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, salad, rolls, etc. But, alas, turkey is not to be found here. So, Costco rotissierie chickens it shall be! And, I will be rolling up my sleeves in the kitchen to create a delicious sangria as well as baked corn, and hopefully gluten free rolls! I'm sure they'll be too doughy and bland and only I will eat them, but that's the point, isn't it?
On the guest list there will be people from all over: The U.S. Canada, Scotland, South Africa, and Taiwan. It'll be quite the international affair. A bunch of people who hardly know each other eating a bunch of food together is bound to be a good time, right? That's why alcohol was invented. For just such a time as this. Wish me luck on my hostessing adventure. I don't have the time or money to get things really decorated, but if I had my own house one day, I like to think that maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to dig deep and pull out Becky's holiday decoration skills.
Now, there are one or two issues. My roommate has two cats, and I'm on cat duty while she's away. Strangely enough, her living room isn't arranged in a very human kind of way. The couches are all ripped up from claws, and spare cardboard boxes are placed around in a haphazard kind of way. That's all very well and good, but it hasn't been properly cleaned in a long while. So, when James and I started moving the furniture around to create a more user-friendly feel, things started emerging that were best left untouched. And by things I mean cat hair balls. So much cat hair. But! It has been cleaned, and I'm hoping to convince my roommate to let me keep it arranged this way because then I'll want to be in the living room! I like cats. I really do. But these two make me feel a bit tense. Our relationship is improving, but it's because of their meows. There, I said it. I judge them on the sound of their meows. That's something that should be considered when making a cat purchase or a cat pickup. Their meows aren't soft and gentle. They're guttural and loud and scratchy. Why oh why? I say to them. Must you meow in this intense manner? It's a constant question I ask that never seems to get answered. Even just this morning I was awoken by horrible sounds of raucous meowing, spitting, and growling and got up to see them just sitting there on each side of the hardware box making the sounds. I was like, "Guys, really? Can you not find a better time to do this?" So, I fear for my Thanksgiving guests. Maybe they'll be put off by the weird cats! And, in addition, one of the cats needs to take a pill....Luckily though, it goes in the less disgusting hole. But, that's the more dangerous one! I have to hold the cat, while James uses a pill inserter (yes, that's a real thing) to stick it in it's mouth. It's gotten so scary that I need to wear my raincoat and a glove on my left hand. Somehow he gets his claw into the soft space between my pinky and ring finger. Great. So looks like I'll be a scarface, cat hair covered, crusty furniture maneuverer, hostess.
So there you have it, folks. Happy Thanksgiving!
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