Hello Sad, Depressing January!

We have recently returned from our awesome US trip back HOME to Malawi. It's nice to think of Malawi as home. That's the only way one can do it. Embrace your new homeland!

Currently, Malawi is in summer with daily rainstorms and beautiful greenery. It calmed and soothed our delirious jetlagged souls as we arrived out of the airport after our 52 hour journey (gross!), and we were happy to be back in our house with our cat who missed us greatly. Cats can miss people, you know!

But, soon after our arrival, once at least a bit of the fog of travel had disappeared, we both started to feel that usual January slump. Sure, we're depressed about the holidays being over. I hated and always hate saying goodbye to family and friends AGAIN after such an awesome time. But, I think that with the new year always comes the push to be more reflective on our lives, and both of us are doing just that.

We are considering whether our paths, mainly our career paths, are heading in the direction we want them to. Are we getting out of them what we want? Do we have goals for the future in mind that we can achieve? So many questions and uncertainties. Nothing new, I suppose, but it feels more pronounced in January. I've just written an article for the Ephrata Review about this.

Of course these feelings will be due in part to the fact that January is a slightly depressing month. And, we're taking a whole month away from alcohol. Oh, dear sweet, glass of red wine! How I long for you in these dark days. Maybe we'll start to feel better about our lives come February, once we're definitely back into sleeping well and properly, and the time for mourning the holidays is over.

But, I wonder, because I never know. How much is a good amount of reflection? How much is a normal amount of worrying about the future and what things you want to get done? At some point you just have to, as my parents always say, "keep plugging away". I totally hate that phrase because it makes it seem like you have to keep working towards some foggy, vague place even though nothing in your mind and heart is yet resolved.

But, I can at least tell you what goals I have for 2020, overwhelming though they may be. First, I would like to be the best person ever. Ok, just kidding, but that desire does hang in the back of my hand. Oh, perfection, why do you elude me so?

Real goals: This year, I would like to publish my own book on Kindle under my own name, or some derivative of it. Keri Summers, Lee Summers, Kerilee Brown, Summer Brown, so many options! I think Summer Brown is the coolest, so authory. Let me know if you have any suggestions. And, I would also like to start publishing serialized stories on one of my websites. Don't worry, I will share it with you once I start it off.

They say to write what you know, so I'm thinking of writing about a woman who desires to be a writer, but can't think of anything to write about. Clever, right? Sigh. Somewhat morbidly humorous, I suppose.

Well, I am looking forward to January's end! I imagine it would be a lot harder to stay positive in a cold January like in Pennsylvania, so I have at least the bright, sunshiny weather to thank for keeping us afloat as we start our journeys into the new year.

Happy New Year to all, and I hope you avoid the January blues as best you can!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I've Dropped the Ball

Forgive me! I've been incredibly remiss in my posting of late, having missed an entire month! Although not too much has happened, I had such high hopes for my consistency. Let's see what I can update you with this time. FINALLY, the rains have come. That sounds so beautiful, doesn't it? And when they're African rains, why it's positively poetic! I am currently sitting on my famous veranda, with a glass of wine, typing away, and listening to the rain on the large green leaves. Still working on my tree identification. I feel like I have to have a thing. Everyone has a thing these days. And, since I absolutely refuse to be interested in birds, I thought trees would be a cool, yet youthful thing to get interested in. But, I have yet to begin my tree studies. Therefore, I call them large green leaves, but they could actually be banana leaves. Isn't this description of my garden fascinating? Either way, the rains have come and cut that horrible heat intensely, so
Read more

What Month Is It?

My apologies that I didn't get a post out in March, but I'm sure you can understand. The world has been taken by storm! Or a virus, I should say, and we've all been in a tizzy trying to figure out what's going on and where to go. We rushed to South Africa in order to be with James' parents. We were planning on spending Spring Break with them in Malawi and Zambia anyway but due to unforeseen circumstances, that didn't work out. So we are here! Filling our days with what activities we can. (Our cat is busy making me jealous as he sits on my neighbor's laps back in Malawi and shares his love with people besides me. Traitor.) Here in South Africa, we are in lockdown. I mean real-deal prison lockdown, none of this light request of social distancing kind of lockdown. No leaving the house unless you need to: groceries, medical things. We can't even walk outside or buy alcohol! You will find me here slowly moving out further and further into the lawn trying
Read more

Blissful February--Inspiration Wherefore Art Thou? + Mosquitoes, Wherefore Art Thou Not?

Ok, maybe February isn't quite blissful, but it is a far cry from the dark corners of endless January, which seemingly stretched on into eternity. Now, red wine is back in my life, and yet inspiration eludes me. Oh, my 2020 goals! My dear sweet goals! I cling to them and pick through them now and again and wonder how on earth I will accomplish them. I sometimes feel afraid in the morning before I begin to write. A fresh daily dose of fear. So unlike me, is it not? Thoughts swirl around in my head. Ok, what should I write? Will it be good? Will it make sense? Knowing the helter skelter world that is my mind, probably not.  I search for my inspiration in the lovely morning birdsong and the bottom of my cup of earl grey, and yet, I see only foggy ideas in front of me. But, perhaps, inspiration is just like that. I have these moments I see that I write down in my notebook, and they're lovely, excellent moments. Snippets of a story or a book or even a scene. And yet, what goes o
Read more