Loving the Newness

A friend of mine a few days ago hit me upside the head (figuratively), and I couldn't deny what she told me. I was busy bemoaning my state of feeling discombobulated in a new place, starting over again, and blah blah boring blah. And she was like, "I thought that's what you wanted. You like the newness, the starting over, the trying new things, etc. That was your choice. That' s why you moved." I was struck dumb! Yes, she's right, she's absolutely right. I've wanted to move to DC for so long, and I did it! I wanted to get an office job, and I did! Not everything is ideal ideal, but it never is. There will always be something.

My mom asked me a few months ago what would make me happy and feel less stressed. I was able to name a few things, but then I said, "You know, with me, it's always something. If it's not one thing, it's another that's stressing me out. It's ridiculous. I'm waiting for some never coming state of perfection, and then I miss out on all of the small beauties of life." I see glimpses of it sometimes, and I feel it too, and I'm ready to accept it now. It's EASY to be negative. It's EASY to let the little things and even the big things pull you down and drain you of your LIFE! But what isn't easy and what is against the grain is realizing that life won't ever fit inside of a nice tight little box, and that things come and go. We might as well see a friend in ourselves and enjoy what we can! What isn't easy is being happy FOR NO REASON. I find myself randomly chuckling or whistling a cheery tune now and again during the day. It's when my brain lets go and forgets about all the things I'm worrying about it and just lives and passes the day. It's natural to want to be happy and so we should :).

So, moving on, I'm loving getting in to city life. I can't help but feeling mega cool when I walk to the metro in the morning and ride the train reading the daily news. I'm ready to engage in a discussion of current events at a moment's notice! I've fit in to the flow of people as we move in one stream from train to street to work and back. Work is also getting more and more comfortable, and I've been pulled into a group of workin' folk. But with this new changes come new conundrums. For example, how does one act in an office as opposed to a school? Taxes get taken out over here? Oh man, I guess Iwon't buy that seventh movie ticket.
I saw a girl sleeping on the metro as we arrived at our last stop and the lights turned off, etc. Do I wake a stranger? And if I do, how do I wake her? Shoulder? Knee? I had no idea what to do in this unusual city situation. I was torn as I walked out of the train and rode up the escalator and saw that she hadn't yet awoken! I realized that no matter how many awkward situations one can be in and learn how to respond in, there will always be one thousand more that will surprise you. Guess it keeps things interesting. Next time I know: always wake sleeping people on the metro. Especially if the train is closing and headed back the other direction.

Learning so much. Off to continue the journey of newness! Wish me luck.


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