The Hecticness of Life
Wow, I don't think I've ever been this busy in my life. I remember last year I had a lot of time to myself and a lot of time to just wander aimlessly around, not sure what to do with myself. Now, I wouldn't dream of going back to that, but sometimes it can get a bit much over here.
We have this long work day, and so when I get home it feels like there isn't so much time left in the evening. And there are social events, exercise groups, sports practice, grading to do, online courses to complete, articles to publish famously, etc. :)
So, it seems as if there is no end! The weekend can seem like our own getaway from our busy lives, but then we feel like we need to do so many things! Exercise, spend time outside, see cool things in Taiwan, etc.
And the vibe of the city does not lend itself to quiet and relaxation. There are so many people, and they are always doing something! Even if you want to go on a relaxing city hike, there's like a bajillion people up on the mountain there with you! You kind of just get used to always having people around or having things going on. Even as you sleep, people are playing instruments, driving scooters down your street, and hacking up a lung two apartments over.
But, there is a mystery floating around that I have never quite been able to solve. I have lived a life of to-do lists and checking things off. I always have something that I COULD do if given the time to do so, but what is there to do when there's NOTHING to do?
And the questions I have just flow out of that mystery?
1. How does one relax?
2. What does it mean to "quiet the mind"?
3. And what on EARTH do people do at home at night?
Like I watch TV, and I read books, and I clean, go grocery shopping, cook, do work, exercise, etc. But, sometimes I have nothing to do. I don't want to just watch TV for 6 hours. My sister doesn't even watch TV, and she doesn't read that much. What does she do?!! I've asked her with no conclusive answers. So, like on the weekend or holidays, I look in horror at a day full of nothing ahead and think, "What does one do???"
I get up and wander around and flip furiously through my mental to-do list to see if there's anything on hand. And both my dad and James are the type of people who would laugh and say "Just relax". But what, oh what, does that look like?
So, that's my goal It is to be able to learn to mediate, to relax, and to just let myself be sometimes. Because my mind gets too frenzied, and then I live a life on edge, especially when I've got a lot to do. James gives me about 3-4 years left to live, tombstone reading, died of intense thinking and checking boxes. I feel like I'm desperately trying to get to some end goal, and there are so many things to check off my to-do list before I get there. What is my end goal you ask? Maybe a gin and tonic on a balcony somewhere with a great view of nature and my freelance writing career as my income. Sounds nice, huh? Lots of work before I can get there. So, I will try to chill out, but it will be hard to remember. Relaxing is not on my to-do list!
We have this long work day, and so when I get home it feels like there isn't so much time left in the evening. And there are social events, exercise groups, sports practice, grading to do, online courses to complete, articles to publish famously, etc. :)
So, it seems as if there is no end! The weekend can seem like our own getaway from our busy lives, but then we feel like we need to do so many things! Exercise, spend time outside, see cool things in Taiwan, etc.
And the vibe of the city does not lend itself to quiet and relaxation. There are so many people, and they are always doing something! Even if you want to go on a relaxing city hike, there's like a bajillion people up on the mountain there with you! You kind of just get used to always having people around or having things going on. Even as you sleep, people are playing instruments, driving scooters down your street, and hacking up a lung two apartments over.
But, there is a mystery floating around that I have never quite been able to solve. I have lived a life of to-do lists and checking things off. I always have something that I COULD do if given the time to do so, but what is there to do when there's NOTHING to do?
And the questions I have just flow out of that mystery?
1. How does one relax?
2. What does it mean to "quiet the mind"?
3. And what on EARTH do people do at home at night?
Like I watch TV, and I read books, and I clean, go grocery shopping, cook, do work, exercise, etc. But, sometimes I have nothing to do. I don't want to just watch TV for 6 hours. My sister doesn't even watch TV, and she doesn't read that much. What does she do?!! I've asked her with no conclusive answers. So, like on the weekend or holidays, I look in horror at a day full of nothing ahead and think, "What does one do???"
I get up and wander around and flip furiously through my mental to-do list to see if there's anything on hand. And both my dad and James are the type of people who would laugh and say "Just relax". But what, oh what, does that look like?
So, that's my goal It is to be able to learn to mediate, to relax, and to just let myself be sometimes. Because my mind gets too frenzied, and then I live a life on edge, especially when I've got a lot to do. James gives me about 3-4 years left to live, tombstone reading, died of intense thinking and checking boxes. I feel like I'm desperately trying to get to some end goal, and there are so many things to check off my to-do list before I get there. What is my end goal you ask? Maybe a gin and tonic on a balcony somewhere with a great view of nature and my freelance writing career as my income. Sounds nice, huh? Lots of work before I can get there. So, I will try to chill out, but it will be hard to remember. Relaxing is not on my to-do list!
Comments
Post a Comment